Review – Thai Massage Ventura

22Nov10

One of the ideas I had when I first conceived of this blog was to keep track of all the whoring and womanizing I would do if I eventually became single. I was a dog before I got married, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I have paid for sex on more than one occasion. Of course, I’m pragmatic about it. I firmly believe that all sex comes with a price, whether or not it’s transactional. And the less transactional the sex, the more expensive it gets.

Getting to the point, I decided yesterday I was finally going to motivate myself to physically cheat on my wife, to get over the mental barrier of “should I take the risk” and just get it over and done with. I decided to go the “rub & tug” asian massage route. I’ve had a few rub & tug sessions before I was married, so I knew what to expect, but this is the first time in around 7 years, and I’d never done it in the US before, so I wasn’t 100% sure what I was getting myself in for.

I moved to California back in October for a new job, and since I haven’t lived in CA since I was 3 months old, I couldn’t even begin to guess where I should go, so I turned to Backpage.com, which, for those of you not familiar with it, is essentially a Craig’s List site that hasn’t folded to pressure from the world to shut down its adult services section. You can’t find adult services anymore on CL, but Backpage has got you covered. I found the following ad:

★:::::★===== Thai massage ===== ★:::::★
Tel: 805-648-6790
open 7days 9.00am-10pm
1484 E Main St, Ventura, CA 93001 (Across st chrisman Ave)
Professional++ Friendly ++Young ++ Pretty++ Beautiful++ Excellent++ Massage
Clean Cozy Comfortable, Quiet PRIVATE individual oriental-style rooms
We Offer
*Deep tissue Massage*
*Full body oil massage*
* Acupressure massage*
* Back Walking *
*Table Shower*
massage offers you a caring serene environment allowing you to relax, unwind and escape
organic herb oil improve your whole body good health and peaceful mind, hot towel treatment, shower
Best to call for appt….Walk-ins, OK.


What really intrigued me was the table shower. I’ve never had one before, and after googling it, I was excited about the prospect of having a hot asian chick giving me a bath. There wasn’t any mention of the “tug” part of the rub and tug in the ad, so I couldn’t be 100% sure I’d get a happy ending, but I figure being washed by a hottie has to be pretty fun.

I woke up yesterday not completely decided that I would go through with it, but took a shower anyway to ensure that my ass crack was clean. I went ahead and jerked off in the shower too in the hopes that if I did get a tug that I’d last longer than 30 seconds. Given that I haven’t gotten laid in over 6 months now, I was pretty sure I’d go off at the slightest touch if I didn’t. Then I went to a movie to kill time and take my mind off of how horny I was in the morning.

After the movie, still unsure of whether I’d go through with it, I drove the 15 minutes to the address from the ad. I’d scouted the area weeks before and knew where the place was. It’s just where Google Maps says it is, so if you’re planning on trying the place out, you can’t miss it. It’s in a standalone building, right on the corner of Main and Chrisman Ave. It has THAI MASSAGE on the front in big red letters.

When you go in, you’ll find yourself in a tiny waiting room. A tinted window will slide open, and you’ll be greeted by a little asian woman. I don’t know if it will be the same woman each time, but the woman that greeted me turned out to also be my masseuse. There was at least one other woman working although I never got a good look at her.

Having been in a few massage parlors before in Panama, I expected to be led in and presented with a few girls, and get to pick which one I wanted to have work on me. I wasn’t given this option. The lady at the window asked me if I wanted a 30 minute massage or a 60 minute massage. I went for the 30 minutes, because in my experience, you really only get a 15 minute massage no matter how much time you pay for. After 15 minutes comes the erotic part, and unless you’ve built up some staying power, you’re not gonna last for 45 minutes. So I paid my $40 for the half hour, and she led me back to a room.

The place had the feel of a house, or perhaps it used to be a doctors office or a dentists office. There was a shower at the back, and a few rooms off the main hallway. I didn’t see much else. It’s a very old building, and the walls didn’t seem particularly thick. It was also kind of dark. Not exactly a high end spa, but then again, I wasn’t expecting one.

The room she led me into was small and dark, with thick curtains blocking out the exterior light. There were bars on the ceiling above a thigh-high table/bed, which was covered in a white sheet and white towels. Fairly standard massage parlor furnishings. The woman put a CD in the radio, and left me there to undress. There was no selection process, and I had no idea what to expect next.

To my dismay, the same woman came back. I say dismay because she wasn’t the hot asian girl I had hoped for. She was the same little lady who had greeted me and escorted me back. She wasn’t ugly, but she wasn’t a pretty young girl like the ad claimed she’d be. I’d say she was about 40 or so, and certainly a petite little thing but just not what I’d hoped for.

I should also point out that there was no table shower. I don’t know if that is part of the hour long service or not, but it was never even mentioned and I didn’t ask. Maybe if I ever go back (which I probably won’t) I’ll ask about it. Also, I don’t have a clue if the oils she used were organic as the ad states. I have a feeling they were just your standard cheap massage oils.

The massage lasted about 20 minutes, as I had expected. The first part was a fairly decent oil massage, not full body as the ad described. She only worked my back and neck. This lasted around 15 minutes. She followed this by asking if she could remove my boxers which I had left on. I of course gave her permission. She then proceeded to give me what I can only describe as a “tickle treatment”. A very light touch over my entire body for several minutes, frequenting my inner thigh and scrotum. Not at all unpleasant, but hardly a massage. It tickled, which caused me to tense up, not relax.

After several minutes of the tickle treatment, she asked me to roll over, which I did willingly. I already had a raging hard-on from the attention that had been paid to my scrotum, but she said nothing about it. She gave me another several minutes of the same on my front side before she started rubbing my cock. She then asked quietly (I almost didn’t hear her) if I wanted a handjob. Since that was the whole reason I went in, I naturally said yes. There was no discussion of any extra compensation, she just applied some lotion, laid a few tissues out on my stomach, and went to work.

I’ve had many handjobs in my 35 years. It was fairly average, but keep in mind, I have not felt the touch of a woman in 6 months, and my wife has never been very eager to please, so this was easily the best handjob I’ve had in 6 or 7 years. Her hands knew what they were doing, and massaged all the right places. Even though I had jerked off just a few hours earlier, I could only contain myself about a minute. The tissues she had placed on my stomach weren’t nearly enough, and I shot my load right on up to my chest. She kept working it though until every last drop was drained, which I very much appreciated as it’s something my wife has never done. Then she cleaned me up gave me a quick hot towel bath, and left me to get dressed. A minute or so later, she brought back a cup of water and a mint, which I got a chuckle out of. I left her a $40 tip and she escorted me back out to the front.

So all told, it wasn’t the greatest massage parlor experience. It didn’t live up to the advertisement by any stretch of the imagination. But I got an expert handjob by an experienced woman. The massage wasn’t great, but I didn’t expect it to be, and it was actually better than any of the massages I had ever received in Panama. The handjob was average, but better than I’ve had in years. Most importantly though, I am past the mental barrier that has kept me from using prostitutes while I’ve been married all these past years. I now know that if I am not getting what I need from my wife, I can always get it from someone else and not feel too bad about it. That makes this perhaps the best $80 I have ever spent.



3 Responses to “Review – Thai Massage Ventura”

  1. Your style is unique in comparison to other folks I’ve read stuff from. Thanks for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I’ll just bookmark this site.

  2. 2 R Gould

    This is a thorough review that seemed like my experience. There are several younger women who are Chinese, not Thai, who are pleasant and adept at their work. They qre not pushy and made me comfortable and were
    happy to bring a happy ending to the session. I didn’t get a mint, though.

  3. Article writing is also a fun, if you know afterward you can write or else it is complicated to write.


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